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22nd of July 2018

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7 celebrities that could run for president in 2020 but really shouldn't

HELLO, I AM THE ROCK AND I AM VERY HANDSOME AND WHAT IF I WERE THE PRESIDENT.HELLO, I AM THE ROCK AND I AM VERY HANDSOME AND WHAT IF I WERE THE PRESIDENT.Image: Getty Images2016%2f09%2f16%2f8f%2fhttpsd2mhye01h4nj2n.cloudfront.netmediazgkymde1lza3.f09f1By Marcus Gilmer2018-07-04 09:00:00 UTC

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that an electorate in possession of a terrible president, must be in want of a celebrity savior.

Such is the case of the United States in the year 2018, a few months ahead of the midterms elections that precede the jockeying for position in the 2020 presidential race. And people are looking to the stars.

We've already elected a reality TV star to the White House, so that door feels wide open. Case in point: Oprah gives a terrific speech at an awards ceremony and we're so thirsty for someone so completely different from Trump that we lose our ever-loving shit.

And she's hardly the only celebrity to generate this kind of buzz. But as the hype continues building for Oprah and others, it's worth looking at why maybe these A-listers shouldn't run. 

Oprah Winfrey

Okay, so Oprah did indeed rock that speech.

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But there was never really a chance she was going to run for president. She had already said she wasn't going to run in 2017 but that didn't stop the speculation after she crushed that Golden Globes speech. 

We all wanted it. Stephen Colbert wanted it. Jimmy Kimmel wanted it. Stedman said she could do it. Political operatives posited what she would need to do to win as did we. Ultimately, though, Oprah said "Nope-rah," and as long as she doesn't change her mind, it's the smart move. 

There's absolutely no upside in it for her. (For us, sure. Tax refunds could be replaced by Oprah's Favorite Things.) We're such a politically divided nation, even if Oprah tried to run as an independent, roughly 40 percent of America would support her, 40 percent would loathe her and make up conspiracies, and the other 20 percent would spend their time harassing people on Twitter that "Bernie woulda won."

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It's like when Michael Jordan came out of retirement a second time to play for the Washington Wizards: It was completely unnecessary and was a weird coda that still lingers. Oprah's status as one of our culture's GOATs is already set in stone. She could be the best president we've ever seen, making Lincoln look like Franklin Pierce, and yet she still wouldn't come out unscathed because that's just what we do to our presidents.

It's a thankless job and there's no way Oprah would want to give up depositing monster checks while cosplaying with her dog and stopping people in their tracks at royal weddings.

The Rock

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has heard his name rocketing around the Twittersphere as a potential 2020 (or even 2024) candidate — and has even indulged the chatter — thanks to his ubiquitous presence in American pop culture, from Instagram to commercials to some of this nation's cinematic triumphs.

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(Before you even play the "Well, there's no way America would elect someone from WWE" card, just remember that Trump has had plenty of interaction with the WWE. Hell, he's in the WWE Hall of Fame!)

But the issue here is much the same as Oprah: why ruin all the goodwill he's built up? You can take what I just wrote about Oprah and just sub in "The Rock" and nothing changes. The Rock is too good to be president at this point in American history. 

Plus, it would likely deprive us, or at the very least delay, the production on the next Fast and Furious film which could maybe possibly be set in space, and if that's not the blockbuster film America needs right now, I don't know what is. 

Alec Baldwin

The 30 Rock actor and occasional Trump impersonator is feeling pretty good about his chances against the real Trump if he were to run. Speaking to Howard Stern just a few weeks ago, Baldwin said, "If I ran, I would win."

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To be fair, Baldwin fits the Trump mold in a lot of ways: 1980s hot shot who's now a game show host and underwent a widely publicized divorce. At least the audio tape in Baldwin's past is a comparatively tame family feud that has long since been resolved. 

Still, while watching Trump debate his SNL analogue would be entertaining, that's a lot of baggage to bring to a campaign, even if voters apparently had no issue with Trump's past. 

Plus, does the world really need a war of words between two old white men. 

Mark Zuckerberg

Remember when Zuck started touring the United States, and everyone was all like, "OMG HE'S RUNNING?" even though we knew deep down he probably wasn't going to run?

Well, about that.

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*deep breath*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 

No, really. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 

We thought he could be... 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 

Oh, man. Good times.

Kanye West

naps are awesome

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) May 6, 2018

At the 2015 MTV Video Music Awards, Kanye made a reference to running his own campaign in 2020. Then 2018 happened. 

sometimes we all need hugs

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) May 21, 2018

It doesn't matter that he apparently hinted at pushing the run back four years, he's toast, politically speaking, and alienating the most powerful couple in the world won't help. 

Katy Perry

Okay, so this one was a joke on Instagram, and there's no way Perry would actually run because there is far more money to be made doing arena tours and American Idol. And who knows how political operatives would twist her legal battle against a convent. 

Plus, Perry has reportedly buried the ax with rival Taylor Swift, so with that Nobel Peace Prize coming down the pipe, there's nothing else for Perry to conquer that the presidency offers. 

Donald Trump

Assuming the Mueller hammer doesn't come down on him in the next two years, yes, Trump is going to run for re-election. In fact, like many presidents, his re-election campaign is well underway and probably started as soon as he won that first (shocking) election.

As for why he shouldn't run, let me please direct your attention to everything that has happened over the course of the last 3 years. 

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I think it's time we just... move on.

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